So my laptop died a few days ago. I didn't drop it, it has not been spilled on. There were no special circumstances whatsoever. Besides it being especially broken. When I hit the power button, the lights light up, the fan turns on, but that's as far as it goes. This is extremely unfortunate seeing as people in China don't know how to do anything, meaning I'm not sure when I can get it fixed, or if I have to wait until I get back to the US. Meanwhile, I'm stuck on the computers in our internet café. Things could be worse.
Speaking of the good'ol USandA, I am really seriously considering the end of July for a good come back time. My visa expires at the end of July anyway, and it was the time that I was originally supposed to return anyhow. So, that is most likely the plan, or at least the closest thing to a plan that I have.
Our investor, Chip, is coming from the States to check things out for a few days. We'll have a grand opening party while he's here and he will determine whether he wants to pull the plug on us or keep funding us. If the man is any form of intelligent, he won't shut us down before the heavy tourist season of this summer. We've been doing extremely well so far. We've exceeded the highest margin estimates originally laid down for the project and continue to grow at an astounding rate with our popularity and service. We're the best in Xi'an, there is no argument. The people have spoken. So this investor guy better have half a brain. At any rate, I figure the time he's here will just be a bit more stressful and kiss-assery than usual.
Now I am going to go see a new Jet Li and Jackie Chan movie. I AM TAKING TODAY OFF. I WILL NOT WORK TODAY. THIS I VOW. hopefully...
Haha, I just wanted to write something a little dirty. But seriously, someone brought us crabs today that they caught in the Yellow River. They were really small, really cute, and really tasty.
Stephen made a boil with them. There were chicken wings and mushrooms and so many tasty things! We took it up on the roof and took turns going up to have some stew and bread and watermelon. It was very nice.
Donovan has been helping out with the bar more than usual this week since he had his wallet stolen the other weekend; poor guy. It's a great help having him in the bar. The past few days have been really busy since it's Chinese Labor day May 1. A lot of people are traveling and going out in the evenings more than usual. This weekend should keep us on our toes.
I tried to take a day off again, it ended up the same as last time with me sleeping in a little then working anyway. People tell me I do this to myself, but I can't just leave Donovan high and dry when it's busy! So now we're at the month-and-a-half since a day off point. But that's okay, as long as I'm not dying or mood-swinging.
I met this really cool chick from Switzerland. She is a wood worker and since we became friends she gave me one of the wooden rings she made back home. Like all of the people who come through our doors, she loves it here at Backpax and wants to come back in a few months to work here. The same thing goes for an Israeli girl staying with us presently. I actually have threats of receiving a note so nasty it will make me cry if I don't wake up in time tomorrow to say good-bye to the two Israeli girls. The Swiss chick leaves on Sunday.
Also today, no fewer than three outrageously drunk individuals of varying gender proclaimed that I was the best bartender ever and said they loved me. And that was before midnight.
At any rate, now it is really early, meaning for me it is really late, so I'm going to retreat to my cave. The sky outside looks like a nice boiling mass of potential acid rain and pollution; maybe I can sleep through that.
In short, the hostel is hopping, the cafe is brewing, and the bar is jumping. We're doin' it, baby!
 this is my daily schedule. please forgive typos, it is almost bedtime. :)
So, there have been no crazies since the last ones I wrote about, thankfully. And with the restaurant open more and more people are coming in. As an added bonus, I don't have to eat greasy Xi'an food all of the time.....I just eat greasy Western food. Oo;
Anyhow, I've been wondering about my schedule, so I mapped it out, and decided to share it. I felt rather lazy, but still remarkably busy. It turns out my hours for what I do are pretty standard with working full time, I just have them at different times. And instead of all my free time being after work, mine is before and after. Even if the before time is never as free and luxurious as it may sound.
It is still odd though when people start talking about going to bed around 11pm or 12am, seeing as I'm not really tired at those times.
I met some cool South Americans today. One from Uruguay and the other from Argentina. It was fun to speak with native Spanish speakers, it's been a while. It also reminded me that I still want to re-study Spanish.
On a random note, I've been sketching a lot of Stormtroopers lately. Star Wars must be calling me from the DVD case.
To be honest, most of our guests are of sound mind and from average to polite courtesy level. Most are not looking for horse tranquilizers nor our "stash". At least, not openly.
But some of the people who pass through our space, are drunken psychos.
A few days ago a couple of guys from Ireland started staying with us. I've actually met numerous Irish people in China (come on, does Ireland suck that bad?), and they've all been exceptionally polite, humorous, and laid back. Two Irish ladies passed through in the middle of their year-long Russia/Asia trip and we became pretty good friends during the time they stayed here. And at first, these Irish guys were pretty chill.
One had a temporary bum leg because he'd sprained it jumping over a bonfire in Mongolia, while naked, and sober (surprisingly enough). Another looked all beaten up for the time he was here because he'd been out with a buddy drinking, not the bum leg guy, and his friend got drunk and decided recreating the movie "Fight Club" would be a good idea.
These guys were in the bar here a few nights in a row, playing Jenga with some of the Chinese regulars. Honestly, I pegged them as nice guys. We had some good conversations.
As it goes, last night there was a group of about ten backpackers drinking and playing games in the bar, drinking G&Ts like they were going out of style, on top of beer they bought on the outside then brought home--classy. Mark was pretty pissed about that, but we hadn't had a policy on it before, so "tonight is okay, but after this no outside alcohol". Meanwhile, the list I'd been re-writing for four nights as to which alcohol needed replacing and what backups needed to be bought had not been taken care of, so, as luck would have it, we ran out of our cheap gin. They were, needless to say, not pleased.
They came to the bar and ordered four G&Ts, I poured two before I ran out and showed them the empty bottle. They asked me if I was kidding, I told them I wished I was. (As a side note, I've never heard more cats in heat in my LIFE than I have in China. Anyhow, back to the story)
So, while I had been back getting ice for the G&Ts, they had doubled the order to eight. I definitely didn't have that, but I had already poured two. So this British guy, who seemed like the ring-leader type and was a really big asshole, starts going on about how they can't have only two, they have to have eight for their game. We got into a back and forth about how someone needed to pay for what I'd already made and how they refused. Then, it got better when ring-leader began to insist that I sell them our top shelf gin, Bombay Saphire, for the same price as our well gin. The Bombay is twice as expensive, and for good reason if you've done a taste test. So I tell them I can't, we go back and forth about how I can't make that decision and finally I got to "check with my boss". Mark and I had a bitch fest on their behalf, verbally abusing drunk stupid people everywhere and both confirming the fact that underselling the Bombay was a definite no-go.
I inform them of this, and offer the alternative of buying the rest of the bottle of Bombay for only 20yuan more than what their round of cheap stuff would have cost. But they were drunk and in China. When stupid people come to China they act stupider, so they were trying to bargain with me from every angle. The ring-leader liked to try and break things down mathematically and scientifically. He started to get the price for the rest of the bottle down to milliliters and throw out a bunch of bullshit to sound less drunk and more factually intelligent. What he sounded like was a braying ass, and while he talked, seemingly to himself, I just told his friend that no matter what numbers he came up with, nothing changed.
Finally he came to the conclusion that they could get a bottle of Bombay for less money in London. I reminded them that we were in CHINA, and Bombay has to be IMPORTED. Meaning it will be quite a bit more expensive because of TAXES. For God's sake he's British; he should know all about shafting people with taxes. (ooh, burn)
At last he through all his chips on the table (figuratively), and declared that if I didn't undersell them the bottle of Bombay, that everyone in the bar was leaving. I don't think I even hesitated before raising my hand and waving good-bye. I'm not sure what they were expecting, but they seemed a little surprised.
After a few minutes of rallying the troops, the ring-leader finally convinced everyone that they could have more fun somewhere else. Everyone left, about three who looked like they would rather stay but had too much of a pack mentality to hang out in a now quiet bar, and the two Irish guys went with them looking for some entertainment.
I honestly couldn't have asked for anything better if I had tried. The bar emptied, I tallied up the sales for the night (which were more generous than average), and we got to close the bar a little bit early. They were getting rowdy towards the end, and I didn't feel like busting out my stick. I explained to Popper, my bar helper, that they did us a favor.
Unfortunately, the honeymoon ended about 5am, when Mark was woken up by a crash on the roof above him. He went onto the roof, which is fire exit for us since we're the top floor, and found the two Irish guys, one German, and one British guy, who I have not been able to confirm was or was not the asshole ring-leader. He found out the crash had been them throwing a chair off of the roof. It didn't get far and landed on the corrugated steel over the edge above Mark's room. After throwing them in the brig, room 19, which was where the crazy tranquilizer guy had to be barred in and therefore is now the brig, and then interviewed them separately after taking their passports. He found out that they had gone on the roof, ransacked the water control shack and guard room (where they got the chair), and had been throwing beer bottles off the roof at the Chinese apartment building next to us. They caused us 9,000yuan in damage, made the building completely pissed at us and then caused them to pull out of our elevator deal, so no Backpax elevator, and PSB (public security bureau) threatened to take away our hotel license. And for some god damned reason, these idiots think that saying "Sorry, man" is going to cut it. If this happens again with other guests, we could lose our business. End of story. That'd be it. And the building would love to see us gone. So we collected the fine from the four of them that the building charged us for the damage (oh, the restaurant downstairs is also holding us accountable for any revenue loss due to the incident), and hoping to god we can have a week without some other crazy bastards causing us trouble and threatening either our lives or livelihood.
On a fun note, we threatened to turn the four guys over to the Chinese police. Not the PSB, which handles foreigners, but the actual police. If they didn't cough up their fine, they were going to Chinese prison. And we had their passports.
So, now we have signs that basically say no tolerance for violence, aggression, drugs, or outside alcohol (unless the booze is in your room). People were asking about the signs today, because they are sort of a buzz kill, so I told them that we'd rather not post common sense, but we couldn't seem to stop getting stupid people.
Please god, please, give us a normal week with marginal revenue success, and we'll all have tears of joy.
On a happy note, we hired a kid named Aaron to work in the bar with me and he's awesome. He comes in to dance on Fridays (dance party at Backpax), and the kid has skillz (with a 'z'). He can break dance and hip hop and flip flop and probably robot. He smiles a lot and fits into most overhead storage bins.
Now I would like to share with you a picture that makes me giggle to myself every time I see it or picture it in my mind.
 WHARRGARBL
So I actually have something stupidly insane to write about. We here at Backpax have officially gotten our first crazy.
I'm not talking a little crazy, or like, one of our staff members going berserk. I'm saying raving lunatic. The good news: he wasn't on PCP.
Alright, this happened Saturday which, amazingly enough, is also the day I got food poisoning for the first time in my life. By the way, that blows. In a projectile kinda way (EW!). So I've been sick all day, tossing in my bed with a plastic bag next to me that was being kept for my stupidly ill self in case I couldn't keep down the nothing I'd been eating all day. Unfortunately, rather than sleeping, most of my time in bed was spent compelling myself not to use the bag.
Probably around midnight my time I felt well enough to sit up and check my email and see if my mom was on Yahoo!. When you're sick like that, you really just need your mommy.
My mom and I chatted online for a long time. I was pretty emotional through a lot of it. I was dog sick, in China, and Oona was leaving on Monday. Which she did, but that's later.
So I get done weeping over whatever sad things in my life I can think about, which that night took a long time because of the general setting and events, and around 2am I head towards the bar since it's time for closing. I figured I could hang out with staff friends and maybe help out a little. But I get there and the bar is still going. So I put off going in for a while, instead sweeping around the cafe and drinking more water. I still hadn't been able to keep any food down at this point. After I had cleaned a little I decided to put up with it and went in the bar. Mark was acting barback, Oona was chatting with the Irish guy, David, who was staying with us and lining up music on the playlist. The two Aussie girls, Emma and Annie (who are quickly becoming regulars), were back and totally trashed. It seemed it was Emma's turn to be the sloppy drunk and Annie's turn to be the rational drunk (they swap).
Unfortunately for my aching head the Aussies gave me a very heart felt, and very loud, welcome. When they are drunk they think Oona and I are the shit. Which we kinda are. :)
There was this other guy, who was the "I'm not drunk"-drunk, and obviously trashed. I went behind bar and sat on a stool, wondering when we would close tonight since we were past 2. So "I'm not drunk", who will from here on in be referred to in some way as "the crazy guy", starts walking behind the bar to talk to me. In the friendly bartender way I get him back around again and reluctantly enter a conversation with this amazingly intoxicated individual. Not a few words past him talking about how drunk the Aussies and Tyler (friend from school, when I went) were and how drunk he wasn't, the guy asks me, "So where do you keep them?"
"Keep what?" I obviously replied.
"Don't...don't play that. Don't act like that. You know."
"No, I really don't. Where do I keep what?"
"Your horse tranquilizers." He answered, annoyed. I thought then, perhaps English was not his native language.
"Tranquilizers?"
"Yeah. I know you do them. Where do you keep them?"
It didn't make any sense to me that anyone would want horse tranquilizers, but I knew he was looking for drugs or something else we didn't have, so I asked, "Do you mean steroids?"
"No, where do you keep your horse tranquilizers?" He was getting in my face about it, becoming adamant. I took my hands out of my pockets and put them on the bar, in case he got out of control.
I went through the entire logical process of how we did not have any tranquilizers, for horses or otherwise, and in that case, no, we did not have steroids either. Wouldn't horse tranquilizers kill you? No, I didn't say I wanted to kill you. No, I won't go ahead and kill you. Yes, I've been in China seven months as well, and I have no drugs at all. What do you mean you can "tell by looking at me" that I have tranquilizers? I'm not sure how to take that.
Mr. Crazy started getting angry and swearing at us, telling us he didn't appreciate being lied to and how we were all "fucking lying to my face". Finally he went to the bathroom and I wished they would cut him off. When he came back he just kept talking about how he'd been high all day and how when he went back to his school (he teaches English in a different province) he was going to smoke all of his stash for three days.
As stimulating as the conversation was, I went to get water from the cafe, letting Oona talk to Crazy, and I ended up playing Uno in the couch room with a girl from Atlanta and another lady from Germany. The lady had been in HangZhou a year with her Germany-based company and the girl from Atlanta had been teaching in the same place for a year and a half. That they were still in China and seemed of sound mind made me feel like a bit of a wimp, seeing how I feel.
Mark and McDrunkFace ended up in our area. Mark was trying to escort the stupid bastard to bed and he was a little resistant. Eventually Mark was able to move the now very emotional Crazy away, after he had left me an empty beer bottle. Apparently I wasn't the only one worried about this guy snapping. I honestly would have put him in the gutter after the way he acted in the bar. But he was a hostel guest so I can understand trying to get him to just pass out in bed. The other girls and I call it quits on Uno soon after Yojan, a guy from Sweden, comes out of the dorm area while brushing his teeth saying that Mark was asking for me and said to bring an empty bottle. This was getting out of hand and annoying.
When I get there Crazy's traveling friend and roommate (same person) is trying to get him to go to sleep. Mark just wanted me to hang back in case something happened. Eventually things seem to settle down and I go to my room, I thought for the night.
I had just acquired a copy of the Sims 2, and hadn't cracked it open yet, so I took this time to accustom myself with new gameplay versus the original game. Probably 45 minutes later I heard some commotion and Mark shouting "Get Back!" and "Don't make me smash your face with this bottle". I think I swore under my breath as I stood, grabbed my Arnis stick, a fire-hardened bamboo stick about a meter long, and locked my room door after I was in the hall. I stepped out into the empty hall, trying to figure out which direction the noises had come from since I had heard people run by my room. I looked left down the hall where things were the loudest and saw people, I don't remember who, but probably only two people who were just standing there looking down the perpendicular hall I couldn't see. After a few seconds Mark came running around the corner with an empty bottle in his hand shouting "don't do this!". Behind him came the crazy drunk guy, running surprisingly well for someone so wasted. I jumped out of Mark's way, ended up right next to the bathroom, and decided to continue that direction. I didn't want to stop where I was. I didn't know if the crazy had seen me and I was the closest new target, or why Mark was running away from him like he was (the guy was about the same size in height as Mark, but looked to weigh more). I hopped into the bathroom and held the door closed, for good measure, since it didn't lock. When no lunatic came trying to crash down my gates, I went back into the hall just in time to see Mark and the Crazy fall to the ground. Mark was on top and hand his hands pinned, the empty bottle was now closer to where I was standing than to where Mark was. I learned later he had thrown it at the guy in the end.
We had called for security in the process, so now one of the guards from the first floor, a scrawny little Chinese guy in a suit, came over and sat on Crazy's legs, the guy's roommate was helping to hold him down as well. I heard people saying "I got the knife. I have the knife." And got a little shaken. This crazy bastard had been chasing Mark while holding a knife. The roommate got the knife, we convinced him to cough it up, then gave it to Stephen. We were going to give it to security when the friend convinced us to just throw it away. He said, "I never want to see him with his knife again." I later learned that Crazy tended to get drunk and then cut himself. He was also from Texas. I couldn't decide which was working against him more. (I kid, I kid). So the knife was handed to me, where I walked it to the trash in the cafe and threw it away. I picked up Oona on the way. She had been hiding behind the bar with another hostel guest and followed me when I came by on my way to the cafe. We exchanged what we knew briefly before I went back to where the crazy was still restrained on the floor. Ariel was hysterical. She had been lying on top of the guy too, I'm not sure why, when he had first been tackled. He still had his knife at that point, mind you, and Ariel was drunk. We literally had to pull her off and physically keep her back for the rest of the time. She kept trying to get involved and was damned near to getting herself hurt a few times because she couldn't be reasoned with. I was so worried she would do something stupid and get hurt that I was furious.
Finally we get the guy locked in his room, barring the door from the outside with my Arnis stick, and call the police so we wouldn't be liable if the stupid bastard hurt himself while alone in there. Despite how much we wanted to find him in there the next morning with the patterned design of the door on his face, we didn't want Mark to go to Chinese prison.
The most f#$%ed up thing about that event was, after we had taken care of all the hard work, the police refused to come. Mark had to physically go to the station, let one of our Chinese kids persuade two cops into coming over, and then have them stand there and be pissed because we woke them up. They probably will find a way to retaliate against us, as well. Then Mark called the Embassy and got pretty much less help. They said we had done the right thing, but they couldn't help us with anything because it was out of their jurisdiction. They said to wait until he sobered up, so we wouldn't be in charge of his well being, and then send him away and call his school and report him to his local PSB (Public Security Bureau or, people that act like police, sometimes). We sent him on his way after he woke up, still angry, the next morning. But none of the kids on staff will call his school or PSB. They said we couldn't ask them to do that. When we asked why, we found out that revenge killings in China are very common and if you get someone fired or otherwise screw them over, they often come and kill you as payback.
To top it all off, Oona left on Monday, yesterday, and I still have a headache from being sick. Also from the emotional trauma of losing Oona. She was my best friend in China and has become one of my favorite people. Now I have to run the bar on my own, sleep in our room alone, and she took all of her American TV shows with her.
Mongolia better be worth it, Oona. And try not to get held out any windows on the vodka train. Don't leave stuff out that's easily grabbed, try to make friends with guys that aren't drunk Mongolian traders.
Godspeed young soldier.
more to come after I get some sleep
-bonzai
I literally worked on a post throughout the whole day today and right when I finished the website timed out my session and logged me out.
I am depressed now. It was a really long post. Maybe I'll try to recreate it again tomorrow or something.
This is just to show that I actually still come on this thing and think about it. So in lieu of my original, awesome, and long post--here's a big smiley face.
:D
So we had a really freaking amazing haul on St. Paddy's Day.
It was by far our busiest night of them all and we sold over 200 drinks. Oona and I were the main bartenders for the night and had an absolute blast.
As it turns out, there was a guy from the states there that night, Stan, and he's been in the bar tending and restaurant business for 15 years. He ended up speaking with Mark and one of our employees for about an hour a piece, just talking about our spot, how long we'd been open (five days officially) and how we have been working the bar. According to him Oona and I had great energy, were engaging and all that jazz, and were what he looked for when he needed to hire new bartenders. He came back today and spoke with us just about how we could set up where we keep things in the bar to be more efficient and keep more contact between us and the customers. Basically he was awesome and even more so for thinking we were cool. :) Oona and I shared a well earned high-five. Ah yeah.
The party itself was really fun as well. We had so many people in the bar that they were spilling over into the coffee shop. We had good business in the coffee shop as well. Overall it was a great success and a proof of concept. We gotta be doing something right to have that many people in here after only advertising for five days.
It helps, of course, that our advertisement leader, Niki from Las Vegas, is a-freaking-mazing at getting people in here for, not just one night, but repeated visits. Not only that, but she finds the coolest "diamonds in the rough" that always have something that could help us out along our merry little way. :)
I really enjoy bar tending, so maybe whenever it is that I get back to the States I can do something with that. Since I worked abroad here, maybe that will make it easier to get a job back state-side. :P
Also, the 17th was a special day because it was the birthday of my beloved Laura. Happy Birthday Lor! (this doesn't count as late since I already told you on time)
Tonight we're in the middle of a couch surfing party. Since Mark is on couch surfing we had a get together with them and brought in a bunch of the Xi'an couch surfers. They're all in the bar now having a great time. They came for coffee and hanging out earlier, left for dinner, then came back to drink in our bar. So that means when we get the restaurant up, they won't need to leave ever! Ha! Game. Set. Match.
And Backpax is triumphant.
p.s. everyone is way into our spotless bathrooms. It's one of our amazing features, seeing as we're in China. :D
First of all, a shout out to my very close and extremely amazing friend Venessa for posting the first comment on my blarg. Thanks, Venessa! :D
As for me and Backpax/Old World Cafe, we're throwing two St. Patrick's Day parties in the next three days. One is tonight, Saturday, and the other is Monday, the actual St. Patrick's day. The one on Saturday is for our friends and guests (sorta the same) that can't miss work or school on Tuesday. :)
Work calls and Oona and I may or may not be able to call ourselves functional for the next few days as our blood alcohol content continues to rise. :)
I will be sure to post about our parties and the huge success we hope them to be! People in China have no idea what St. Paddy's Day is so we're here to do our job and enlighten them to green beer and hang overs. Well, I probably won't experience the latter, but no one knows the future. :)
I had my birthday on the 6th! I'm 20!!! Yay!
Oona came back the day before my birthday!!! Yay!
Mark and I have decided that Oona is going to stay and work with us, but she's not so sure yet. She says she has "plans" or something. So, she still hasn't seen the Terracotta Warriors. We know she can't leave Xi'an until she sees them. We also know that if she drinks, she's hung over the next day and cannot do anything again until that evening.
Basically, the plan is to get her drunk every night so that she never wakes up in time to go see the Warriors. HA! Take that, "plans".
 New desks that we brought for the school.
 Some of the students of ZhouZhi elementary.
 A 50-child dorm.
So, basically, there's this organization called Project Hope that does an assortment of charity events and donations. Backpax got in on one of them and donated new desks to a small elementary school out in ZhouZhi provence; this place out in the middle of nowhere.
Mark has a lot of the photos I took that day up on his picasa page. http://picasaweb.google.com/Mark.Agrusti
Check out all of it, if you're interested in Backpax at all. I'm in there too. :) But all the stuff from the charity thing are the albums from Feb 29.
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